Pregnant With Joy

Today, I am 15 weeks pregnant, ecstatic, and feeling less anxious with worry than I did during the first trimester. And now that I have moved into my second trimester, I feel more comfortable with the idea of writing about this journey. And I understand that keeping an updated blog may be an ambitious undertaking, what with the fatigue and preparations involved in pregnancy, but I will give it my best shot.

Being a mother, and being pregnant, is really something that I have known I've wanted since I was about six years old. It was at this age, while holding my not-yet-one-year-old cousin Tracy, that I realized that I loved babies (one of the benefits of being the oldest granddaughter on my Father's side). There were enough years in age between us, that I could fully marvel at the difference between being a baby and being a little girl past her toddler stage. I was the kid putting pillows under my shirt and admiring my make-believe maternal figure in the mirror, looking forward to the day when the pretend would be real. I was the teen fascinated with family heirlooms and history, daydreaming about the day when I would pass everything down to my children (and hopefully they would share my excitement about our genealogy). I was the girl who had baby names already planned out, names that changed as trends changed (or maybe as I changed). And so now I am so very happy that the pretend and the daydreams can be realized.

As for a more physiological update, I am still tired, I am achy sometimes, I still get waves of nausea, although it is nothing like it was in those first weeks when the nausea was constant and lasted all day long (who came up with "morning" sickness anyway?), and my belly is showing, which is so much fun to watch. And the latest news is that we are having a BOY (my stepsons were hoping for a little brother)!!! My sleep is a little erratic, I can't seem to keep my mind quiet when I toss early in the morning and teeter on the edge of either making it an early day or falling back into blissful slumber, forcing me to get up out of bed. And forcing me to take naps at really strange hours. I have stopped performing, but I will be able to continue working as the Assistant Rehearsal Director, which is very fortunate. And I think that about covers it for now. I feel a wave of sleep pouring over me now - I must get all the sleep I can now!!